qiji de meiguoren (A miracle American)‏

Zao An,

I am thankful for things that take me out of my comfort zone.
I think it's so beautiful, how our every day efforts to be good are never enough and never perfectly executed, but they still chip away at the mass of pain in the world, and they change us.

On my mission, I've been able to love and work well with people who are so different from me. Chu Jiemei, my companion, has a heart of gold, but is extremely naive. She doesn't think very deeply about things, and it never occurs to her that others could have ill intentions. I used to be really snobby towards people like that, and felt that our worldviews were too incompatible to get along.

The reality is that Chu Jiemei and I are really, really happy together. After we turn off the lights and say our prayers we stay up late talking and laughing; I listen to her tell stories about earlier in her mission or the famous Taiwanese singer she has a huge crush on. I genuinely love her, and learn so much from her every day. Her naivete allows her to do good that I can't deliver in the same way. She saw a lady collapse in the Metro the other day and dashed over, frantically trying to help. Within ten seconds it was apparent the lady was simply drunk, and her husband embarrassedly shooed us away, not wanting us to make it more obvious than it was. But the way Chu Jiemei cared for the lady was so touching and compassionate; she didn't care the reason for her fall. Chu Jiemei will also forgive me in a second's time, when I get stressed or impatient. Usually it surprises her when I apologize, because she never noticed me do anything to express my frustration.

Why are we all waiting to develop some superhuman abilities to be able to conquer life? All we need to do good is already within us; all it takes is a desire. Like Bill pointed out, no amount of knowledge can compensate for a lack of desire. No perfected qualities can, either.

I love D&C because God is always so clearly working through imperfect people. He chastises them at times, but he also forgives them so often, and tells them it doesn't matter what they did in the past--if they are willing to be humble and work now, he can use them to do good. He repeats over and over again the theme that if they have a desire to serve, they can and should serve.

Somehow the point of religion must be to help people develop and foster that desire, to give a place for it's expression.

I had a really incredible lesson on Friday night with an American named Nathan, who is here for a month to study Chinese. I met him on the street a few nights before, and invited him to come take a tour of the chapel. He said yes and gave me his phone number. As it usually is when I am contacting men, I wasn't really sure if he was interested in learning about church or interested in me, but I'm so glad I didn't judge him--when he came, he introduced himself as an extremely spiritual religiously-unnaffilliated guy who loved learning about philosophy and religion.

We had one of the most intelligent, deep, spiritual lessons of my whole mission. We went  thoroughly through the whole restoration. He loved the concept of continuing revelation, saying that kind of openess is essential to being one with God. He resonated with Joseph Smith's loneliness over his spiritual experiences that he couldn't deny but that others couldn't understand. He was probably very aware of polygamy and all the stigma against Mormons, but he was so kind, open, and accepting, while listening to us. He shared his own very enlightening thoughts with us, as well, about how he has come to compromise science with spirituality. He has really complicated theories about how God created the chemicals in our brains in just a way so that certain triggers will allow us to physically experience his existence. I shared with him a line from D&C 93 that has helped me a lot: "Spirit and element, inseparable connected, experience a fullness of joy." He gasped and threw his hands up in the air excitedly and said, "Mind blown. That is PERFECT. I love it!"

 When we were finishing, he said that he had had a feeling before coming to Taiwan that something big, spiritually speaking, was going to happen to him here. And he said that while he was in our chapel, he felt something. "The spirit, that connection... whatever you call it. I just--I don't know.. I want you to know I really feel closer to God, now."

I felt like I was on a high, after our lesson with him.
Talking to people on the street is so interesting, because there are always so many people and the million tiny decisions we make each minute about who to talk to and what to say can influence eternity. I didn't have to talk to him, or invite him to meet with us. I really, really didn't have to. When I am contacting it is so easy to get discouraged and to not have faith in people. But I'm so thankful for the encouragement I've received from this gospel to keep going, to keep having faith, to keep going out of my comfort zone to do good in the world. It really can make a difference.

I love life. Have a great week!

Diana

Here is a baptism we had this week! Ren Jiemei. She is so cool! I think she is really proud of herself for making it to baptism, and even though she's a little quiet about expressing her feelings, I can tell she has changed so much. Over the past few weeks, when she has decided to get baptized, there has been something so much softer and kinder in her demeanor and in her interactions with us. I wish she were more open so I could know the story in her heart.

And another picture of some friends who came to visit me on Saturday! There is Xiao jiemei, my Taiwanese twin who got baptized in one of my old areas, and another ward member. We are standing in front of the temple, here. It is so hard to have to start saying goodbye, to people. Although it's also a little funny, because it'll be a million times easier to stay in contact with them once I get back and have facebook.