Stories you may have never heard before

It's ironic that last week I talked about my communication struggles with my companion. Maybe what is needed is just patience and time. We had a lot of those incredible, soul-bursting talks that I wish I could live inside forever. 

I never thought I could love a companion as much as I love Sun Jiemei. I wish I could grab all the things she says and just splash them to the world. I can't, but today I want to try. 

She is a demographic anomally, so I find myself totally intellectually interested in her perspective. Last week for P-Day we went to eat at a pricey Curry House, (about 7 US dollars for our meal). The room was bordered with several fish tanks, had a swamp cooler blowing at us from the ceiling, and had this humid, salty taste in the air that she said reminded her of trips she took in her childhood to Indonesia, where her Mom grew up. People are so poor, she says,  and so incredibly HAPPY.  She has memories of sitting with about a dozen of her cousins in a tiny room, all crowded around a tiny television as if it was the best thing in the world. She told me stories about the old, crippled lady who lived in their neighborhood who all the children and teenagers alike would go and visit, on a daily basis. As she talked, we ate yellow coconut rice and I watched the fish in the fish tanks, and I had this strong desire to leave the boxes of clothes and the facebook comments and my pretentious potential for a college degree waiting for me in America and just join the people she was talking about. Are we really so smart, do we think? Maybe happiness is something much more simple than we think it is. 

Sun Jiemei  has lived a very silent life. She told me that in all her relations with people, including her parents, her role has always been to listen, not to talk. She has never felt like she could trust people, or like they would want to hear what she had to say. Her parents, she said, never seemed to care much about her thoughts. 

I asked her about her companion in the MTC, because with me Sun Jiemei is actually quite talkative. That was when she told me about how she often feared her MTC companion was too judgemental, so she didn't trust her much. She talked about how even though she believes in the church, she knows that a lot of things are really complicated. Some of the first people who reached out to her and welcomed her to church are less active now. She knows that the gospel blesses families and that in her reality, it has more driven a wedge between her and her parents. She has faith in God, and yet she fears that if she expresses these thoughts to some people they will judge her to be a bad church member. (I think a lot of us can relate to this feeling!)

She told me about how she has also always been terrified of reading out loud. Her reading of Chinese characters was never strong--she is pretty sure she had a learning disability all growing up--but reading the Book of Mormon magically changed that, and she is able to read competently, smoothly now. 

She told me stories about all the missionaries that influenced her on her four-year path to baptism. One of the most touching stories was of an elder who she said was tall, always had a blank expression on his face, and who she said affectionately over and over again was a total idiot. His Chinese was terrible, and his sense of humor really childish. He loved to say to Taiwanese people, "Do you pick your nose?" in English and laugh at their confused expressions. I  can just imagine how immature he probably was, and probably depressed to be on  a mission, and probably terribly irritating to his companions, but Sun Jiemei said that it was because of all of this that he had an especially profound impact on her--he noticed the simple things. One day at church he asked her, "Do you have money to get to church?" And this girl, my companion, who had been saving money and pinching on meals to have money for the bus fare to this church that her parents would forbid her to go to if they knew, found that simple question exactly what she needed to hear, to know that God loved her. 

We didn't get to bed until 12 last night because we were talking about all of this, and other things--like her love of recycling and her favorite elements on the period table to elements. (She is really such a nerd, I love it!) But one of the last things she told me was, "Thank you for listening to me talk." She said she has never told anyone as much as she has told me, And I wish I could explain to you all how my heart bursts at the thought of this. 

I only have a week and a half left until our two transfers together are up, and most likely one of us will be moving. It hurts so much to think about. 

At the same time, when I pray about my love and admiration for my companion and my reluctance to have a new one, I get this feeling that I should have this type of curiosity and acceptance about EVERYONE in my life. Whether I have grown up with them at my side or whether I just met them, whether their demographic and background characteristics are identical to mine or totally foreign. I think I am totally a respecter o persons, sometimes. I think 

I want to love everyone in my life as I love Sun Jiemei. I hope we all can do that. 

Love you all! 

Sister Brown