Now for her latest email:
Everyone!!!!!! I have great news!
1. They have authorized missionaries to communicate through email
with ANYONE, including friends and converts. So if any of you people who
read my letters want to email me, go for it. And if you already were
emailing me, don't feel bad about it!
2. President day authorized us to SKYPE on Mother's Day!! I cannot
wait to see everyone's faces, including all the babies! Hopefully they
all can be there. Ahhhhhh, I can't wait.
3. I am training next transfer. That means next week I will have a
new missionary as my companion. I am really scared; I feel like I just
barely got to Taiwan, and still don't really know what I'm doing. But
I'm excited. If she is an American missionary, I am going to take her to
eat intestine soup and stinky tofu on her first day and be like, "This
is what we eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner here. It's sooo good,
RIGHT?!" And if she is a Taiwanese missionary, I am going to make her
introduce me to all these foods I would never know how to pronounce off
the menu.
4. This week I tried chicken feet (mainly just fatty, oily
cartilage) and duck tongue, (actually not too bad, I got a spicy
flavor.)
5. I had my first run in with the Taiwanese police this week.
Sister Duggar and I had just finished up studies, we were about to leave
and as I was on our porch putting on my shoes, I set my bag on the iron
grill railing. Unfortunately, I wasn't very careful when I picked it up
again and some very important things fell from our third floor
apartment onto our neighbor's first floor roof: our keys and our cell
phone. The first thing we did was just start laughing at how absurd our
situation was. Then we started thinking of how to solve the problem. The
neighbor wasn't home, we couldn't call anyone because even though we
had a house phone, we didn't know their phone numbers, and basically we
couldn't leave our house because there would be no way to get back in!
We decided I was going to climb down using the railing and go retrieve
the keys and phone myself. But as we were saying a prayer for safety, we
decided that was a really bad idea. So long story short, we called the
police and they came and brought a ladder and tried to be sympathetic to
these two American girl's pathetic situation. I imagine they probably
thought we intentionally threw our keys and phone onto the roof in a fit
of angst about whose make-up was prettier. I tried to make small talk
with them about whether their job was more tame than policeman in
American because there isn't as much violence in Taiwan. I also tried to
pawn off on them some green-tea cakes that someone gave us as a gift
but that are not Word-of-Wisdom approved. They wouldn't take them.
Awkward!
6. It is starting to get HOT, here. The afternoons feel like Utah's
May or June. I love it! What a beautiful thing, the sun is. Although
I'm getting pretty scared for what Taiwan's July must be like, if it's
beginning of March is this warm.
7. I am starting to find a sense of humor in Chinese. It is such a
miraculous gift, to be able to make people laugh in a language that
feels like talking with a golf ball in your mouth, but is gradually
coming.
This week I have felt so overcome love I have for my investigators,
and the love they have for us. Sister Duggar is going home to America
this week, so everyone has been especially good to us lately. We had a
party for her on Friday and nearly everyone showed up that has been a
big part of our lives, these past 12 weeks together. That is what the
picture is from. I could tell you so many stories about every single
person in this picture! There is never enough time to do a single hour
of mission life justice, in my emails. I just love people so much.
I feel like I kind of just want to bear my testimony, I guess, about things i have been learning lately.
First, feeling this week like I really had friends in these people
was an interesting experience. We were going out to eat with two of our
investigators, MiJiang and Sally, and as we were crossing the busy
street, talking and laughing with each other, I realized I was really
enjoying myself. Like, the way I did before my mission when I would go
out with friends. And it felt so foreign! I hadn't felt I could be so
relaxed and comfortable with people in a long time, largely because the
language has been such a barrier with communication. I felt this
overflowing gratitude that I am past that stage, and that I am capable
of making small talk and having friends here. But I also felt... this
deep sense of admiration for what I have been through. That is not to
brag--I mean this really humbly. But really--I haven't had these kinds
of friendships with people in a long time, and yet I have still been so
happy. I have had an attitude wanting to focus on what I can do, instead
of what I can't do, since I came to Taiwan. And I think that's why all
of a sudden the goodness of these friendships has come like a delightful
surprise, not like a long-awaited, hard-earned, deserved reward. It has
strengthened my understanding of how the objective circumstances of our
lives matter much less in regards to our happiness than our attitude.
How could I have been so at peace with things back when I basically
lived in a silent world of just me and Sister Kang? I don't know, but I
was. And I am sure in a few months I will look back on right now and
feel the same way. I still have infinite need for growth in my Chinese
and ability to really understand and love people. But a positive
attitude, I am learning, really helps us to have joy along the way
during this learning process.
Recently, we have been really encouraged to spend time finding less
actives and encouraging them to start coming back to church. Sometimes
when I imagine contacting these people, I picture a narrow-eyed,
scowling, very-disenchanted middle-aged woman peeking out at us from a
crack in the door and muttering, "Ah, it's you silly Mormons again.
Think you can get me to come back to your rotten church? You can't!"
And I imagine that all of them probably have really deep issues and
reasons for not wanting to come to church, like offense from a
priesthood leader or problems with church history. But I am finding over
and over again, that usually the case is that these people just get
busy and stop coming for a while, and eventually feel too forgotten
about by the church and God to come back. We have had some incredibly
sweet experiences, with them.
A few days ago, I called this less active woman, and asked if we
could come visit her on Sunday. So yesterday we pedaled our bikes out to
the edge of YongHe, and made our way up to their fifth floor apartment.
She and her husband had set up house slippers for us at the door and
immediately ushered us to sit down on their blue leather couches. They
offered us muffins (which are considered cake, here), drinks, and
kumquats to eat, and immediately made us feel so welcome. We just talked
to them for the first part of the lesson, getting to them better, their
beliefs and background. They were so sweet and humble as they told us
about some of the difficulties they had been facing lately. The woman
said she has been feeling for a long time like she needs God in her life
again, but has been away for so long that she feels guilty going back. I
asked her how she felt about her daughter, who was playing with her
toys on the other side of the room, and who they were very affectionate
towards. I asked her how she would feel if her daughter got hurt and
came to her crying--how she would respond. She said, "I would comfort
her and try to do what I could to help." I asked, "What if she had been
really pi (naughty) the day before? Would you have the same response?"
The woman just started crying and crying, understanding. We talked about
how Heavenly Father's love for us is the same as the love we have for
our children, but bigger. He is so quick to forgive and always wanting
us to come back to him, all the more so because we have strayed. There
was such a beautiful spirit there. They said they really felt comforted
and that us coming was a huge answer to their prayers. It was one of
those really cool experiences where I felt like I was really doing what I
came here wanting to do.
And I just want to say... I really believe what I told her is true.
I have never felt so weak, as on my mission. There is not sufficient
time to recount all the hard things about being a missionary! All the
expectations. All the pressure. All the responsibility to solve problems
you don't know how to solve. I am sure that all of you have had similar
experiences so you probably do understand. But I have never, ever felt
so clearly and closely, the reality of Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ,
and their love for us. This week especially has carried so many
struggling, desperate moments of prayer for me. So many times I have
wondered if I am doing good or not, so much searching of my motives and
desires. But his peace comes, like a hug. A hug. And it's the most
beautiful, freeing thing in the world, to just give it to him. And to
experience your love for him grow, this being who you can't see or hear
but somehow you just know is really there. And it's so enabling, too! I
have never been happier, overall, and never felt more capable at solving
these problems that go way over my head. I know I am not so much
solving them as exploring my capability to make waves in the world, and
trying to use the light of Christ to do that well.
I hope you all have a great week! I love you all so much!
Sister Brown
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