Ahh... Nimen hen xingku!!‏

Hello everyone!

 

Thank you for the emails and support! Congratulations to Natalie and John-Mark!! Official lawyers! That is so exciting! I met a lady on the metro this week who is an assistant to a judge, and I told her about you two. My condolences to the West Virginia football team. Garrett, how was California? I am jealous I didn't get to be at the Halloween party. Mom described all the costumes and food very thoroughly. I can't wait to see pictures!

 

This weekend we had two baptisms. One was a 15 year old who had been coming to church with her friends; she is really shy and was so nervous, but went through with it all. The other was a lady in her 40's or 50's who is was very sincere and serious about her decision--she was praying all day in church and wiping tears from her eyes as she sat through the service.

 

I got to play violin for the older lady's baptism. I just put together a short medley of I am a Child of God and Families can be Together Forever. (Those are some of the only hymns our investigators might have recognized, since they are simple ones that we sing as we start lessons.) People here generally do not treat musical numbers the way people do in the states states. A couple people started singing along as I played, and they clapped at the end. I thought it was really cute.

 

I am going to be getting lots of opportunities to play. My mission president is putting together a risky, but in-my-opinion awesome program for the Christmas season. He picked six sister and six elder companionships to form a traveling missionary choir/instrumental group. We are going to be putting together a 45-minute Christmas program of music for wards in the Taipei area to use as a Christmas party/fireside. The idea is that they can invite investigators, their families, friends, etc. to a place where they can learn about Christ and feel the spirit. Afterwards there will be food and opportunities to meet missionaries. I am so excited about it! Music is so wonderful, and so is the message of the Christmas hymns. It will definitlely cut into work in our individual areas quite a bit, though. Mom, I was looking at the proposed schedule and had flashback of Pizzicato Strings! How funny I can be a missionary in Taiwan and yet my life hasn't changed that much. Starting the second to last weekend of November, he wants us to be performing every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night until the end of December. When you consider travel time in addition to the time of the program, that will probably be about 12 hours a week of some of the most convenient times for investigators and members to meet with us. But President Day really hopes the advantages will outweigh the costs. If it goes well, he might put together a program for Easter as well. Hooray for innovative missionary work!

 

This week I feel like mentioning some of the things I've learned about having a companion. It is such an interesting, rewarding challenge. IIt's not quite like a roommate because you don't just live together--you have to work really closely together every day. During companion study we share insights with each other from personal study, and then we plan lessons. All day we are together, talking to people, trying to express ourselves, all of which are opportunities for our visions of the world--how it should be, what we are aiming for--to manifest themselves. This can sometimes be painful and confusing, as it can be for all people who ever find themselves working one on one with a person who is different from them. (I.E., all of us every day.) I definitely don't want to be so arrogant as to assume I am the only one who occassionally feels misunderstood, lonely in my own thoughts, jaded and depressed at the blindness of the world to the fact that I have obtained enlightenment and know the truth all things. (Kidding, but seriously don't we all act that way sometimes? I know I do.)

 

One thing I have really learned the past couple weeks is that when little offenses or misunderstandings come up, to stay calm, let the moment pass, and keep an open, loving heart towards my companion. This isn't because I'm trying to be a martyr. It's because I always, always have a different perspective on the situation an hour later--both emotionally and logically. Whatever tiny thing that seemed a cruel injustice at the time later while we are laughing together, biking down a hill, seems totally silly. The emotional, moral and logical sides of it are inseparable. I have found if I bring up the offense at the time and try to win my case against her, I end up being way more focused on my need to be right than our need to resolve the situation. I can't see the situation clearly, because my pride is so wound up in things. And I can't see HER, at all--whatever hurts she might similarly be facing. Only little, lonely me.

 

Sometimes there really are consistent patterns of thinking and behavior that are difficult to deal with. Things that keep coming back up. Sister Kang is seriously amazing; she is so peaceful, hard-working, and strong in the face of challenging tasks.  But sometimes I find myself in complicated, confusing situations because of the different perspectives we have on the gospel. She is a very practical, stick to the rules, the schedule, the definition type of person and I am a I am totally not. I don't even know what I am, but I don't think I am that. I am totally not perfect at knowing how to respond, but I have found there is just this quiet grace that comes from accepting and loving her. Even though sometimes the way she chooses to do/think about things challenges the vision I have for the way the world should be. I wish I could express it. And I wish I could do it as well as I want to.

 

I am struck every day while reading the scriptures with the importance of love and sincerity towards God and towards the people around us the only true way to live. And yet how often I ironically use those same words to accuse other people I see who aren't doing it! Resenting/refusing to love others for not being able to love what I want them to love... Such hypocrisy, but it is the irony that eats its way into my life every day. I know it will be something I deal with for the rest of my life, as we all will. But I take hope, and I hope all of you similarly can, by knowing that I have at times felt able to pause its persistent chomping--enough to sit for a few somber moments in the peace and quiet of acceptance. The fact that I can't change the way others are but that they are good and worthy of being loved, anyway. The realization that the only real response to difference is compassion--sometimes heavy, lonely, burdensome compassion--for the fact that there is goodness to be had that isn't believed in, wanted, or accepted. (Again, I know that is really arrogant of me to assume I know what this "goodness" is, but it describes how I feel.) I think this is the kind of suffering that the atonement was made of. The ability to comprehend the potential, worth, and goodness of every human soul and simultaneously  accept the fact that none of us will never be fully open to it.

 

Resentment is just never, never the answer. I wish I were better at remembering this all the time.

 

Love you all!