Guanyu Zhongwen he hao de meng (Regarding Chinese and good dreams.... I think that's what I said....)‏

Diana is still doing well. Here's the latest.

Hello everyone!

 

I hope this week has been going as well as it can for you all! Thank you so much for all the letters--keep sending them, even if you only have something little share! It is so wonderful to hear how everyone is doing, both the good and the bad. I think of the family constantly and I wish so badly I could reply to everyone personally. I am trying, but there isn't much time for writing letters.

 

Before I forget, Mom--for my plaque I wanted D&C 11:12. Also I think picture 27 was the one we liked? Sorry for taking so long to get that to you!

 

Life is going really well for me, here. Today for P-Day Sister Briggs and I went to the gym to work out with our elders, then got sack breakfasts with them and we ate them outside at a picnic table, while we all confessed our most awkward date stories and most serious childhood crimes. We have a lot of fun together. Thankfully all of the elders in my district are going to my mission, except for two. Elder Cottle is going to Paris and Elder Laboulaye is going to Montreal, Canada. Both already speak fluent French, but they have been called to speak Mandarin. (Other places where they are sending Mandarin-speaking missionaries besides Taiwan: Australia, California, New York, England, and Ireland. Kind of interesting.) 

 

After breakfast, we did laundry. Then I met up with a friend of mine who plays harp, to practice a musical number. We met when we both played in BYU's symphony orchestra, and were happy to find we were in the MTC together! Her name is Sister Bennion, and she is going to the same mission as Rachel. Houston South, Spanish speaking. She keeps her really nice harp in Sister Brown's office, so that is where we practiced. (Sister Brown is the MTC mission president's wife.) Apparently Sister Nally (the MTC music director lady who auditions people to play in firesides and devotionals) asked Sister Bennion if she could accompany someone on Meditation, that famous violin piece that I've played before.  It is her favorite piece. So we are going to audition on Thursday but since we were asked to play it we are pretty much guaranteed to get to! So that is exciting. I have been able to play violin pretty often. I usually get in a good hour of practice on Sundays and P-Days, and then anywhere from 0-30 minutes on the other days. The sisters we live with are really supportive and don't mind me playing, which I really appreciate.

 

After that, we ate lunch and then walked to the hill behind the temple to write letters, read scriptures, and talk with all our sister friends. We all wore sunglasses and took pictures.  It was such a beautiful, sunny day. It was so nice to lie down in the shady grass, to take off our shoes, and enjoy the free time.  I kind of hate that I am spending my summer inside cold buildings and wish my companion would let us study outside more often. But that's okay.

 

We teach lessons every day in Mandarin, to fake investigators. It is such a cruel task, in a way, because you can speak fluent Mandarin and still have tons of room for improvement on the way you teach. It is also a very realistic task. We do every day exactly what we are going to have to do out in the mission field. Also, they never give us feedback on our lessons, which is also cruel but realistic. I am used to the school system, where you are given a grade and some scribbled comments at the top of your paper about what you did well and where you have room for improvement, some concrete evidence of progress or the lack of it. But real life isn't like that. There is never any official way to know if you are a successful teacher, parent, friend, doctor, lawyer, etc. We just have to do the best we can and have integrity about how hard we are working.

 

Generally people seem happy here, but there is definitely a thick undercurrent of discouragement among a lot of the Mandarin missionaries. Our classrooms take up a long hall in the basement of one of the buildings. We dash around NiHao-ing and XieXie-ing each other with smiles and jokes. But every once in a while, when your classmate is pretending to be your investigator and you urge them to open up to you about their concerns, or when you're having a heart to heart with someone in the lunch line, or on the bike next to you in gym time, or at the sink next to you at night when brushing your teeth, you see glimpses of many people's insecurity about their ability to learn the language. It is really tough. Every day our teachers or leaders find ways to give us pep talks, and we try to build each other up as well in our lessons and meetings. But I think a lot of the missionaries are really struggling. Some of the elders, especially, but definitely not just elders. I feel like I'm generally good at handling stressful tasks like this and most of the time I feel fine but there have been a couple of times when I have felt so physically overwhelmed with how difficult it is. We all envy the English missionaries, and even the Spanish-speaking ones who will stop as on our way home at night and bare their testimonies and we can understand pretty much everything they say.

 

But I wouldn't take it back, for a second. It's also such a rewarding experience. It feels so good, to be humbled like this, and to have good friends to share the experience with. And there is so much  joy in my life here. On Sunday we were able to listen to what was, for me, a life-changing devotional from Elder Bednar about recognizing the Spirit. Every day during personal study I feel myself shrinking in the beauty of the atonement.  Yesterday I was vacuuming a hallway in our dorm building during service time, and I couldn't explain it but I just wanted to cry with how grateful I was to be here and to feel this love for the gospel. I keep waiting for the point where I'm allowed to say, "This is really hard." It seems like you're supposed to say that when you''re a missionary, right? I''m sure more of those moments will come when I am out in the field, outside of this safe, clean, uplifting little MTC bubble. But so far all the little tiffs with my companion and all my frustration with Chinese have been so worth it.

 

I know it has also been a lot easier for me than it would be for other people, though. I miss the family so much, but I haven't been caving under homesickness. I miss the band so much, but I haven't really worried that I made the wrong decision for my life. I have made so many good friends here, and definitely not everyone can say that about their MTC experience. At the end of every day, when all is said and done, I feel like I really am doing 100% fine. And I know I am lucky to be able to say that.

 

Take care! Please keep writing to me!

 

Sister Cow

 

P.S. I forgot to tell you about my good dreams! All the sisters tease my because I am infamous for switching up "You" and "I" in Chinese. I do things like pat people on the shoulder saying, "I am so cute". And the other night when we figured out how to say, "Sleep well, I hope you have good dreams!" I sweetly, affectionately told all my roommates that ""I will have good dreams." We have a lot of hilariously moments like that. I have so many other funny stories about the things we say, but they will have to wait for next time. Take care!