Hey everyone!
I am writing this email n a smoky-smelling internet cafe in
Xinzhuan, a suburb in the Southwest part of Taipei. I'm surrounded by
poster-ads for video games that I would probably recognize if I were a
gamer, but I don't. And the writing is all in characters. One of them
has a little English subtitle, though, that says, "Legend of Wuxia."
Could that by an Asian version of Zelda? Anyway, it is almost six in the
morning here and there are tons of young boys in here, who probably
have been here all night.
Outside is a busy street lined with tall apartment buildings, with
shops and places to eat on the bottom floor. There is a three-story
McDonalds (Maidanglao) on this block--the space is so narrow that it
builds up, you order on the first or second floor and then have room to
eat on the second or third. The city is already awake. Outside there are
people waiting at the bus stop and people are starting to zoom by on
their scooters. There are easily more scooters than cars, here. (Motor
scooters, not the little kick-push kind, in case you were wondering).
My companion and I live about a five minute walk away from here. Our
street is more narrow than this one but almost as busy. We walk out of
our apartment complex and there are about five little shops to eat at
and a dozen people to talk to within thirty fee of our door. Last night
there was a concert stage set up on a street in between our apartment
complex and another one, and some performer was going all night, with a
huge crowd around him. My companion tells me that XinZhuan is one of the
most busy, city-like areas I will serve in, and if I learn to bike
safely here, I'll be good anywhere on the island.
I don't have my bike yet, but I should be getting it today. I don't
want to scare dad, but probably the only safety tip he gave me that
will be applicable here is to be smart. No one is going to notice or
care about my hand signals or my courtesy in giving them space. In the
narrower roads like the one we live on, pedestrians, scooters, cars, and
bikers alike just tend to go wherever there is a space for them to get
through.
Our apartment is really nice. It's easily nicer than any I lived in
at BYU, especially considering I share it with one other person rather
than five. I have my own bathroom and dressing room, and it is so clean
and spacious feeling! We have two decks on either side of the apartment,
one of which overlooks the city and you can even see the skyscrapers in
Taipei. We are on the sixth floor, so we have a beautiful view. Last
night there were fireworks going on somewhere in the distance and we
took a break from planning to watch and take pictures. I will keep
taking pictures this week and try to upload them next week so you can
all see.
I wanted to describe all this before I get used to it, and forget
what there is to describe. This week one of my most recurrent
thoughts/emotions has been an overwhelming, awed sense of "I cannot
believe I live here." The people are all so kind, the food is amazing,
the buildings and scenery are beautiful and interesting, and there is
just always something exciting happening outside. It's like living in
the heart of NYC. I really hope I don't start to take it for granted.
This is such an amazing opportunity! It still just feels strange--I
remember having this thought as we were flying over Japan and I looked
at the lit up cities, thinking, I just put in my mission papers. That's
all I did. And for some reason I'm going to live in this new place and
am learning to speak a new language that didn't necessarily have to be a
part of my life at all. I feel almost a little guilty for how excited I
am.
Anyway, this week flew by! So many changes so fast. After landing
in Taipei, we spend a day and half at the mission home doing orientation
things. A lot of it was just being told practical things about life
here, pumping us up to do missionary work, and doing some necessary
paperwork. On our first night, they paired us up with experienced
missionaries and sent us out street contacting. The sister I was paired
up really pushed me to take initiative and be bold, probably more than
my companion does now. There are probably few things more awkward in
life than striking up religious conversations with strangers in a
language you don't really speak. Maybe a wedding night is more awkward. I
don't know. But it was actually a really cool experience, and five
people gave us their addresses and numbers so we could set up
appointments with them. I learned a ton.
At least for the first hour and a half. You all thing falling
asleep in movies is bad? Well--thanks to jet lag, my narcolepsy this
week has reached new heights. I get to this point every night where my
brain just hits a wall and can't think anymore. For the last hour of
street contacting, I followed the other sister around like a zombie, and
she pretty much had to do everything. At one point she was talking to
this lady for 10-20-30 minutes (who knows?) and I had my first
experience of dreaming and being asleep while standing on a busy street
sidewalk with my eyes open. And then every once in a while I would shake
my head and remember where I was. It was so weird! I don't think I have
ever felt as totally exhausted in my life. But every day it has been
getting a bit easier to stay up until 10:30, and I am sleeping through
the night now.
Ah, there is just so much to tell you all about. My inability to
effectively communicate in Chinese of course has hit me hard. I was
feeling pretty discouraged about it on Saturday. There are so many
reasons each day for me to feel stupid, embarrassed, or helpless--my
companion has to order food for me, people in the ward ask me questions I
don't understand, I lose track of where the conversation is going in
lessons. All my goals for the type of missionary I wanted to be and the
service I wanted to give people here sometimes seem so totally
irrelevant--if I could only communicate!
But yesterday at church a miracle happened. I prayed that morning
and focused my personal study around how I could be the missionary I
wanted to be even though I don't speak the language well. All my goals
just morphed into one--I wanted to show every person that I loved them
and loved the gospel. I decided I needed to really forget about
myself--my embarrassment and helplessness--and care about other people
more. And I really felt that, all day. Practically all I could do was
smile and wave and greet people, but I tried to go out of my way to do
that. And everyone was so, so kind and good to me. I made a smart choice
in sacrament meeting, when I had to introduce myself and bear my
testimony, or telling them that it was my fourth day in Taiwan. All the
ward members took pity on me and reassured me that my Chinese was
awesome (hen bang) and that they hoped I liked Taiwan. They spoke much
simpler to me. They asked me about my family and one lady dragged me
into a room to try a traditional Taiwanese dessert that she insisted I
needed to try. (It was mochi). There was so much love! And I was
actually amazed at how well I did with my Chinese, at church. I
understood about 70-80% of what was said in the lessons. During relief
society, I was listening to the teacher speak about what the Holy Ghost
feels like. And I became conscious of this unexplainable smile and
feeling of joy in my chest that had been glowing and bursting from
inside me all day. I felt so much love for everyone around me, and I had
the strength and will to be with them right there in that
moment--rather than wrapped up in my own thoughts and self-pity as I
sometimes am. It was such a beautiful, merciful experience that I hope
to carry with me throughout my whole mission.
Okay, I think I better wrap up and stop gushing. I still feel like I
could go on talking about Taiwan and my experiences here for another
email at least this long... Sorry if they get exhausting to read. I
hope you all are doing really great! Feel free to write/email me! I now
have a lot more time on the computer, so email works.
Love you all!
Sister Brown
